Tag Archives: work

Induction over!

8 Aug

Respite at last! My induction year at work is finally come to an end. I have not been on WordPress for several months now, it got so intense and overwhelming at times it partly made me want to leave the profession. I guess everyone goes through difficult times in their careers, especially at the start when there are high expectations to meet to prove yourself. I’m just hoping that things ease up a little bit, with experience comes better expertise and hopefully things will come more naturally, or at least I’ll learn to deal with the stress and anxiety better.
It really didn’t help with my anxiety, it was at a peak and even on my days off I couldn’t relax, with a constant feeling of pressure in my chest. Although I am a naturally negative and pessimistic person (which I wish I wasn’t) I hate that it is only a year into  a career that I thought would make me happy, but I have now built such negative feelings and associations with it. After all we probably spend just as much time working as we do having free time, if not more. Is it really healthy to feel that way so often? It was stressful. I am well and truly burnt out. Was it worth it? Only time will tell.

 

Work to live, live to work

29 Sep

I haven’t posted in a while as I started a new job in September. A professional start to a career that I had been waiting for since I graduated from university… the first time around in 2010.

I was talking to my mechanic when I went to collect my car, we got into a discussion about starting my new job, and not having much time to fit in bringing my car for a service. My mechanic is a Christian and started to discuss how we live our lives for man-made concepts, and the way God intended for us to live with our family’s enjoying nature and not for money.

This made me think about the circular motion we tend to live our lives. We want to live well, we want to enjoy our lives, as much as we like to say the best things in life are free, there are plenty people who would disagree. I used to work in a place where there were groups of homeless people living in the garages behind the shop. They had company, they had people that cared about them, but they could not eat when they were hungry, they could not be warm in the cold, one of which died during the winter, many resorted to drugs because of the depression. To live life, comfortably, with enjoyment we need money. To get money we need a decent job, we hunt and we search and we’re filled with misery until we achieve our goal. Finally you get there, you get the job you’ve been dreaming of, the job with the good salary you wanted. You wake up in the morning 7 am to get ready to start your day, you finish work 5 pm and have an hour of travelling in rush hour to get home. You get home about 6 or 7 pm have your dinner, and you’re knackered, so you start the process to get ready for bed. Got to be awake early for work tomorrow! You work 5-6 days a week, when you get your days off, you had a couple of things hanging over from work that you need to catch up with so you think, oh I’ll just get it done over the weekend. You’re tired and drained, maybe I’ll just stay in and relax this weekend.  You have the house, you have a car for the convenience, you have a disposable income for your leisure, but you don’t have time. You barely have time to spend time in your house and enjoy the things you purchase in it, you don’t have time to use your car at your leisure besides the commute from work, the appointments and chores over the weekend because you don’t have time in the week. You have no time to go out and enjoy your money.

Maybe I should reduce my hours, get a less demanding job? I’ll have more time to enjoy these things, but with less hours, less responsibility comes less money. The kind that just gets you by, you now have time, but you don’t have the disposable income, all your money pays for necessities. You can’t live the life you want to live and enjoy the things you want to enjoy and treat your family the way you want to, because you don’t have the money. So the circle continues…

The more disposable time we have, the less disposable income we have to enjoy it, the more disposable income we have the less time we have to enjoy it. A large majority of people spend the largest percentage of their time in their workplace, we work to be able to live and end up living to work. The catch 22 of our world.