OMG your so fat, we need to put you on a diet!

11 Aug

Yeah I said it! Offended? A bit blunt? A bit rude? I agree. Just as that is not acceptable why is it socially acceptable to go to a thin person and say:
“Omigod, you are so skinny”
“Omigod you are so tiny”
“We need to feed you”
“Men like women with some meat on their bones”
“Do you eat?”
“Urgh its not even attractive to be that thin”
“Why do you go to the gym are you trying to disappear?”

Let me just translate that for you so you can understand how it would sound to a “normal” sized person:
“Omigod, you are so fat”
“Omigod you are so big”
“We need to control your eating”
“Men like women without those flabby bits hanging over”
“Do you ever stop eating”
“Urgh its not even attractive to be that chunky”
“Why don’t you go to the gym more are you trying to be bed bound?”

Why do people not understand to refer to someone as skinny or their skinniness in a negative connotation is just as rude and just as hurtful. At some point the media decided to promote the idea that the desired female body shape was a thin one, so thin models, thin celebrities emerged etc. This led to a somewhat defensive take from societies larger women, which leaked into media and stuck. The defensive point that “real” women don’t look like that, “real” women eat, men like women like this and so on and so forth. I get that the media and magazines are trying to support the “real” women of the world, to make them feel better, that they don’t have to fit a mould, but in the meantime made those that are thin to be perceived as something ugly. “Urgh you are not big enough” and a lot of it actively insults thin women. Inevitably doing the same thing the media did to other women by now giving thin women a mould to fit.

I personally am naturally thin, I literally cannot change that, I eat more than most of my friends and family, it can take me a whole year to gain a couple pounds and if I don’t eat the same large portions for a couple of days I will lose weight fairly quickly. Now is there something wrong with me? No. Am I purposely trying to be this size? No. But I’m not a “real” woman? How can people not see that, that would be hurtful. When someone tells a larger women she doesn’t meet the size criteria for someone’s ideal of beauty, it’s fine, someone else will find her beautiful. For thin women, the put downs result in their femininity and adulthood being taken away from them. They have a menstrual cycle, they have lady parts, some have the anatomy to have children, maybe I’m wrong but I think that makes them “real” women.

You might feel bad about yourself to boost your self-confidence you want to stick your middle finger up to the world and say “I don’t need conform to your idea of beauty”, but why do you then need to insult skinny women and make them feel like less of a woman, making them feel just as you did?  In the bid to promote the love of a plus size body we are demeaning those that are naturally thin. Should it not be a movement to accept that women are all beautiful in their own way?A movement of positive body acceptance, rather than a battle of who is better.

Not all women have curves!! I myself have body issues because of all these constant comments and negativity, but its not noticed, its something normal. Stuffing myself near puking point, oh its necessary because she needs to put on a few pounds.I joined the gym to try gain weight through muscle and keep fit, people will make demeaning comments about that. At one point I was buying herb supplements from an online distributer in Thailand, that promised me some curves and ended up with ovarian cysts. Bleeding for a month because of the over-supplemented amount of pro-oestrogen I was putting in my body, to try and be more womanly. In relationships I can’t fathom how they find me attractive and think I need to put on weight before they find a more attractive curvy woman to take their fancy, because media and society tell me I’m not good enough as me. Its not healthy but with my body issues I don’t turn around and think, hey I’m going believe I’m beautiful so I need to go and make negative digs at women bigger than me, because maybe if they feel worse about themselves it might make me feel better. I know that its not nice to make anyone else not feel good about themselves, especially in regards to things they cannot change. When people come up to me and feel it is fine to make negative skinny comments, I am tempted to say the same thing back, not to make them feel bad, but to make them realise how offensive they are being. Why is it acceptable to put down a skinny woman but it is not acceptable to do the same to a larger woman.

I have come to realise there is no one size fits all when it comes to beauty, some of my friends wish they had my body, and wish I had theirs. The men attracted to me like the way I look, accept the way I look and the men that are attracted to curvy women would not, and that’s fine.
I’m not quite at the body acceptance stage myself and am on a mission to try to gain weight because that is the idea of beauty that has been drummed into me, but I’d just like people to understand how we feel and think before they make a comment to put someone down just to make themselves feel better.I hope to one day be able to love and accept my body as beautiful. real-men-like-curves-meme

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6 Responses to “OMG your so fat, we need to put you on a diet!”

  1. Abi Ola December 31, 2013 at 7:11 pm #

    I wish I could give you a hug and say it’s okay, your shape should not suffer at your despair. People will always have bullshit to say, just got to believe in who you are and what God gave to you. Took me a long time to get to that stage. People use to make stupid comments to me to about being too thin and still do even though I put a on slight bit over a decade. And also…real women are all women! Whatever your size!

    • charliejibbs December 31, 2013 at 9:30 pm #

      Thank you for your comment. Its true, and I know that it shouldn’t matter what people think or say, but I guess its a work in progress to get to the stage where you are now.

  2. Admin January 1, 2014 at 4:18 pm #

    Love this post in particular and the image on the very bottom.

    • charliejibbs January 1, 2014 at 5:09 pm #

      Thanks, I was a bit emotional at the time. One of my cousins posted the top half of that image on her fb, and I sent it to a male friend of mine, he sent me back that image.

      • Admin January 2, 2014 at 2:52 am #

        Shaming based on weight is always harmful, no matter what spectrum you are on..so I can understand.

  3. charliejibbs January 2, 2014 at 3:32 pm #

    Its a shame that more people do not recognise that.

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